Ship: USS DefiantWe're going to be a merry band, blowing things up in space.
Captain: WorfHe might not be a merry man, but he's a bad-ass.
First officer: Kathryn JanewayThey obviously thought Janeway was too dangerous which is why they made her a paper-pushing Admiral. However, her services would be better suited in some command position. Unfortunately, I don't trust her with a glass cannon. That said, I don't trust Worf with it either, but at least he'd get us all killed honorably.
Ethics Officer: Elim GarakAnd because some people complain about Kathy's shaky moral decisions, we've appointed an upstanding guy to look over everyone's shoulder. He's just a simple tailor, though...
Airlock Officer: ChakotayHe opens and closes the airlock doors with a slight probability of getting sucked out himself.
Chief Engineering Officer: Geordi LaForgeHe's the only one allowed to run in the halls.
Also, I trust no one else to keep the ship running with Worf in the captain's chair.
Chief Science Officer: SpockSpok halphalp me, spok
saturday night live... i mean saturday night fever
Chief Medical Officer: The EMHWe'll need to run several copies at a time with Worf at the helm.
Conn Officer: Deanna Troihahaa no
for real
SuluThe only one who will get us out alive.
Chief of Security: TuvokBetween Spock and Tuvok on the senior staff, there will be a good dose of logic to counter the captain and first officer.
Chief Tactical Officer: Ro LarenSET PHASERS TO PEW PEW PEW COMMANDER RO
Ship Counselor: GuinanShe'll listen to you... AND get you drunk!
Ship Shipfodder: Seven of NineShe's there to kick ass, take names, and for enterprising (HAH) viewers to write fic about pairing her with whoever the hell they want (*coughJanewaycough*)
Lips Officer: T'PolShe has big, pouty lips. I don't know what a Lips Officer does, though. Maybe she assists Chakotay with the airlock?
Chief of Operations: DataPossibly the only one to survive this mission with a crew like the above.