Dude, Where’s My Sehlat?
written by Eurrsk Ruk
“Science Officer’s Log: Stardate 95343.895… I’ll just easily put it as May 6, 2418. Just got home to Vulcan after our month-long journey through the Arucanis Arm, a deep space exploration mission assigned by Admiral Grall, onboard the V.S.S T’Gren
, a Vulcan D’kyr class science vessel named after my great grandfather. The ship is still undergoing repairs after its last encounter with a hostile alien living within the nebula. Progress is looking good so far. The crew is performing admirably, patching up all the damage done to the hull and engine. Plus, they deserved a little time for rest and relaxation, including myself.
For the time being, my young nephew has given me a non-Starfleet-related assignment, to take care of his pet Sehlat named Mup, while he goes to a school field-trip for the day to study hydrocarbon-based organisms on a moon of Saturn in the Sol System. While my ship is in repair, I promised to take good care of—WHAT THE!“ “MMMMMMRRMRAGGHMMLLMRRGHHRMRRGMRRRR!!!”
A loud wailing noise along with ruffling is heard from underneath Eurrsk’s desk. Suddenly, a sehlat’s nose boops out sniffing from underneath the table where he was sitting at, and a large fuzzy animal jumps onto Eurrsk’s lap. "Wha—Hey! OOF—Watch it, Mup! In in the middle something!”
Eurrsk’s exclaims to the furry visitor from below. The sehlat quiets down making weird noises and purrs, curling up onto his lap. Mup’s heavy weight forces Eurrsk to re-adjust his sitting and realizes any attempt in removing the animal is futile. Eurrsk finally sighs, “Okay! Fine you can sit here—”
Mup interrupts excitedly with eyes wide open looking up towards him. “Yes… You can sit here, but quietly,”
Eurrsk’s clarifies in a whisper, unsure if the sehlat would comprehend, “Do you understand? Quietly, Mup,”
The sehlat continues staring at Eurrsk with its big eyes, and responds with a tail wiggle. “Good,”
Eurrsk says, patting the big purring fuzz-ball on his lap.
The doorbell rings, surprising the two of them. Mup suddenly leaps out of Eurrsk’s lap, knocking his PADD and cup of tea off the table. The force also pushes Eurrsk backwards and the table flips over. The sehlat sprawls towards the door. “MUP!!!”
Eurrsk yells loudly, trying to recover. He gets up to chase Mup to the door.
DING-DONG “Hello! Anyone there?”
asks a voice from the other side of the door. “Yes, who is it?”
Eurrsk calls out, finally catching up to Mup, holding on to the excited sehlat’s collar. He presses a button to open the door. PSHHHHDH!
The door swings open, revealing a hot-burly package delivery service man. “Hi, I am just here to deliver a hard-cover copy original of the Tales Out of TIME Magazine: Gay Space Biker Bears of Orion (Gold Edition) recently ordered to by-the-name of uhh—,”
the man tries to pronounce Eurrsk’s name reading through his PADD, “umm—a… Eee-yoo-arrssky Rock?” “Close enough, but thank you!”
Eurrsk smiles at him blushing in embarrassment while holding a squirming, wiggling sehlat in his arms. The man chuckles at them. “Cool bro! Just need your signature on here,”
the man offers the PADD, “Cute sehlat by the way,”
he winks at Eurrsk, making Eurrsk melt on the inside, ogling at the delicious man in front of him. “Oh—umm yeah,”
Eurrsk tries to reach for PADD, but Mup keeps squirming. “Here, I can hold onto him while you write,”
the two of them exchange. The man picks up Mup. “Mrrroww?”
Mup meows, staring at the burly man with big eyes. Mup licks his handsome, bearded face. “Who’s a cute little sehlat?”
the man nuzzles Mup’s wet nose, “Yes you are! You little cutie.” “Hehe, I think he likes you,”
Eurrsk laughs, finishing his signature, and offers the PADD back. “MMMRR!”
Mup bites on the PADD, grabbing it, and scrambles out the man’s grasp. “—OOF!”
The man falls back. Mup lands on the ground and starts skittering down the road. “Mup!”
Eurrsk yells, “I’m so sorry!”
He helps the man up, “I’ll get your PADD back!”
He pursues Mup down the street. Mup runs quickly past a group of Vulcans meditating, knocking down a monk. GONG!
The monk bumps his head on the ceremonial gong, echoes ringing throughout the entire municipal. Eurrsk runs past them apologizing as he continues chasing the fugitive sehlat on foot for several blocks. “MROW!?”
Mup suddenly stops and drops the PADD on the ground, smelling the delicious food of a nearby market. “MRR!”
he mews excitedly, taking a new route between buildings, following the scent. “Wait! Where are you going?”
Eurrsk yells from behind, catching up. He quickly picks up the PADD off the ground and continues following Mup. Mup enters the market and is overwhelmed by the smell of food. He hops on one of the vendors and starts to nibble on some Jumja Sticks. “Hey! No animals allowed!”
A Ferengi chef, who owns the vendor, yells at Mup, “Unless you’re paying of course!”
Eurrsk finally reaches the market and spots the sehlat devouring the helpess Jumja Sticks. The Ferengi starts waving a spatula at Mup, “Shoo! Scram you big over-bloated rat!”
Eurrsk runs towards the sehlat to stop him. “Mrow!”
The unknown flailing armament startles Mup, and he skitters down the line of vendor tables and counters, knocking containers, jewelry, and various assortments of food off them. The commotion creates a panic, and people start yelling and screaming within the market community. “Oh no! Not my Aldebaran whiskey!” “Stop! You’re messing up my whale nuggets!” “What the—not in front of my salad!” “My plomeek soup is ruined!” “Security!” “Kurland here!” “I didn’t ask for this!” “Someone get that sehlat!”
An angry mob of market goers forms up and chases the sehlat. Mup takes another turn and darts through a busy street leading into the entrance of the spaceport where the V.S.S. T’gren
is undergoing repairs. Eurrsk runs pass the angry mob before they could reach Mup. He spots Mup bypassing the spaceport security customs, and he cuts through a line of passengers entering the terminal.
The sehlat enters a huge hangar room and bumps into a big, hairy Orion biker, knocking him backwards onto his own parked hover-bike, creating a domino effect of toppling hover-bikes parked in an adjacent line. Hangar guards, bikers, and passengers start panicking. The chaos is loud and startles the sehlat, so he scrams onto a platform where the T’Gren’s
repair crew is. Eurrsk pursues Mup, outrunning the angry mob getting bigger with added bikers and security running behind in anger. Mup darts toward an annoying high-pitch humming noise coming from one of the micro-spanners of the work crew. “Hey, Eurrsk! How’s it going? What’s all that commotion over there?”
one of the repair crew members calls out to him. He notices Mup running towards him, “What the—How’d you get in here?”
Mup leaps, stealing the humming micro-spanner from his hand and starts gnawing on it. “Hey! That’s not a chew toy! Let go!”
The repair-man tries to yank it out of the sehlat’s teeth, but he loses his grip suddenly and falls back onto Eurrsk running up the platform. “Woahh Watch it!”
Eurrsk yelps, trying to catch the repair guy’s fall, but collapses with him by the sudden impact. Mup sprawls off the platform, knocking off shipping containers, and skitters through the hangar’s back exit into another busy street through the city’s downtown district. Vehicles and pedestrians can be heard outside swerving, crashing, and scrambling all over to avoid the crazy sehlat. “Eurrsk, what did you get yourself into?”
the crew member asks, helping Eurrsk onto his feet. “Uhh—I can’t talk right now! There’s an angry mob following me and I have to get that sehlat!”
Eurrsk leaps off the platform to follow Mup’s trail of destruction, “See if you can distract them, and I’ll get your micro-spanner back!” “God damn it, Eurrsk! You better!”
he yells back at Eurrsk, who is now already exiting the building.
Back at the sehlat, Mup stops at a busy sidewalk. He hears a cheering crowd accompanied with music coming from a nearby amphitheater, “Mrow?“
He drops the humming micro-spanner on the ground, curiously follows the music, and sneaks into the open venue.
Eurrsk frantically searches through the busy street of stopped vehicles and panicked pedestrians for any signs of Mup. He stops to think, but then hears the familiar humming of the dropped micro-spanner coming from the entrance of the amphitheater nearby. He follows the sound, picks up the tool, and enters the premise. Inside, he sees a crowded venue of Vulcans with a leveled stage up front filled with speakers and hosts. They seem to be spouting out Anti-Reunificationist rhetoric.
A small, old Vulcan wearing a fake blond-haired bowlcut wig stands at the central podium on stage to address the large Anti-Reunificationist rally. Waving his small hands around with charismatic gestures, the speaker yells, “We will make Vulcan great again! First, by removing oppressive pro-Romulan and anti-Vulcan ideals! We will build a giant outer defense perimeter around the shattered borders of Romulas! We will stop the Orion drug dealers from getting into our precious Federati—OOF!!”
Suddenly, the charismatic speaker is knocked off his feet, as a blurry fuzzball attacks him from below. It was Mup! “Mrraaww!”
The sehlat yanks on the Vulcan’s wig, tears it off, and chews on it like a toy. The on-looking Anti-Reunificationist crowd screams in horror and starts to run in panic and anger. Amongst the mob, Eurrsk pushes through the overcrowded chaos, as Pro-Reunificationists starts to march into the amphitheatre, cheering at the incapacitated leader, along with yelling in protest against the Anti-Reunificationists. The angry mob that followed Eurrsk earlier from the spaceport and market, finds their way in the venue and starts yelling at the sehlat in anger. Special Ops Security Forces from all over the city breaks into the overcrowded amphitheatre. The whole scene turns chaotic and wild. Security jumps on stage and aims their phaser rifles at the sehlat still ravaging what was left of the Vulcan’s wig. “Hostile target is dangerous,”
said one of the officers, “Set phasers to—“ “WAIT! STOP!”
Eurrsk yells, jumping in between the fire-arms of law enforcement and Mup. “Halt!”
the officers lowered their guns, “What is the meaning of this?” “Don’t shoot him!”
Eurrsk catches his breath as he tries to calm the sehlat, “He’s just scared.” “Scared? He’s been wreaking havoc all over Vulcan!”
yells a member from the crowd. Others join in with the yelling, spouting out negative angry remarks towards the troublesome sehlat. “He deserves to be put down!”
another yells. “Are you the owner? You should be locked up too!” “Lock him up! Put that sehlat in a cage!” “My whale nugget business is destroyed because of you!”
The crowd continues with their individual complaints. Little did they know however, that something else much more sinister and terrifying is stirring inside the amphitheater. Mup’s attention switches to the fallen, bald Vulcan on stage whom was speaking to the crowd earlier. The wig-less speaker starts moaning in an unfamiliar language. His limbs and arms begin to elongate, his face starts to de-morph, and his entire body stretches outward. The crowd is too focused on Eurrsk and Mup to even notice… “That rat of yours messed up my bikes, dude!”
yells the hot Orion biker bear from the crowd. “You destroyed my pottery collection!” “Hey, can I have my micro-spanner back?”
Mup notices the morphing figure on stage, and starts to tug at Eurrsk, “MRRR”. “Hey, it’s okay buddy, I won’t let them hurt you,”
Eurrsk assures to Mup.
Mup disregards his assurance as he tries to get his attention towards the strange creature morphing on the stage, “MMMRRRRGHH!!!” “What the-“
Eurrsk’s mouth opens in awestruck as he sees the creature’s true form unfold. A scream is heard from the crowd. Eurrsk pulls Mup back from the strange creature that now stands upon them. The rest of the crowd now starts to panic as they realize the charismatic speaker from before was only a disguise, revealing a tri-pedal creature known as Species 8472. “What is that thing?!” “It’s—It’s—It’s an Undine!!!!” “Somebody shoot it!”
In response, the Special Ops Security Forces still standing on stage divert their aim towards the towering Undine creature now roaring at the crowd. “Species 8472 identified. Fire!”
Phasers start lighting up the stage as they hit the Undine. Its thick epidermis is able to withstand their attack. The Undine charges at them, knocking Eurrsk and Mup off the stage, and rams into the security, pummeliing them down. The rest of the panicked crowd starts to evacuate the amphitheater in fear as the fight goes on. Firing, screaming, and pandemonium is heard throughout the overcrowded chaos. “We are losing men! We need backup!” “Keep firing! Watch out for its claws!” “MRRRGHH!!”
without warning, Mup leaps into the air and powerfully bites on the Undine’s leg, knocking the Undine off balance. The towering creature falls to the ground, wincing in pain. Mup continues gnawing angrily with his powerful jaws. “Mup!”
Eurrsk yells in terror, as he grabs a phaser from a fallen security officer and fires on the Undine. The rest of the regathering forces join in and fires at the fallen invader. Finally, the Undine screeches in pain as the weapons finally pierce through its skin. Just in time, Eurrsk jumps in and grabs Mup, pulling him away from possible friendly fire, as another security guard throws a grenade at the dying Undine. Eurrsk and Mup take cover off-stage. KKAABOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
The grenade detonates, exploding the Undine into smithereens. The whole place is covered in a gooey mess. The security forces sigh and cheer in relief. The remaining crowd still evacuating turns to see the team’s victory. They all start easing back in, realizing that the room is finally clear of danger. Everyone looks to the sehlat in surprise. “That sehlat saved us!”
The crowd suddenly starts cheering in victorious roar for Mup. “Thank you, little sehlat! We owe you our lives!” “Mrow?”
Mup looks at Eurrsk in confusion. “They’re cheering for you, buddy. You helped saved them!”
Eurrsk smiles at Mup, holding him in his arms. He lifts Mup up on the stage, holding him in the air amongst the crowd, like Simba from The Lion King
The crowd cheers in greater volume at the heroic sehlat. A security guard walks up to Eurrsk and Mup, and pets mup on his fuzzy head, “Thank you, little pup. You saved many Vulcans today. May you live long and prosper!”
Amongst the cheering crowd, a young adult humanoid runs into the amphitheater, panting out-of-breath from running. It is Eurrsk's nephew. He recovers himself and begins his search through the crowd. “Been hearing what’s been going on in the news. Figured I’d find him here!”
he says to a random crowd member. He continues to yell, “Dude! Where’s my sehlat!?” #WritingContest #talesoutoftime