SW:TOR is not a failure nor a disaster. It isn't perfect. No game or software ever is, but I feel that TOR is one of the most stable and well-developed PC games out there.
Consider the amount of Story content and fully-voiced and animated mission architecture that drives it, not to mention that you can team up with anyone to play any mission for social points, etc. It's designed for social gameplay, is it not?
To have all that at launch with minimal bugs with a vast item table, among other MMO elements), to me was very impressive for first-time launch. That sure as hell was NOT the case when STO launched.
Let's keep things in perspective, here. So the character transfer service blew up on the launch of a patch. Big deal. Just let them fix it and they will deliver, just like the did with re-customization. As for the same-sex romance, I think that is something beyond BioWare's immediate power to influence now that LucasArts is toast and Disney has their hand in the pot. Politics, bro. It sucks, but it is what it is. I don't blame development for it, their hands are tied.
Nonetheless it's still a great game. I appreciate it for what it delivers, and the potential it shows.