Open Letter to the Fleet Advanced Heavy Cruiser Retrofit

Dear Fleet Advanced Heavy Cruiser Retrofit,

Why are you so fugly? Why do you look like a 5th-grader was given popsicle sticks, a tongue depressor, and other arts and crafts from a low-rent Michael's knock-off store and told to make a spaceship version of the 1984 Oldsmobile 98? Why are you the pinnacle of cruiser acquisitions at the shipyard when you are clearly just some scuzbag with damaged hair and over-plucked eyebrows? Why do you make horses vomit? Why do you smell like a dirty ashtray? Why do I want to hit Alt-7 and Alt-8 to activate Emergency Power to Engines and Ramming Speed, respectively, fly my ship into yours, and finish us both off with Abandon Ship III whenever I see you? Why?

With All My Hate,
Vice-Admiral Lancelot "Rocket" Pierpont

Ok now next time I log on...I'm looking at this ship

well it was designed for Star Trek Generations and that wasn't one of the best of the movies :ohmy:

Keep this post away from Grayson, he's talking about the Excelsior class retrofit :S

The aesthetics of the the design are purely subjective and some of us actually like it.

As far as Cryptic using it for a higher tier ship, there's probably several reasons not the least of which it actually first appeared in Star Trek III: The Search For Spock (as well as later movies and eventually captained by Captain Sulu (George Takei). It was also the class for the Enterprise-B as well as appearing in several episodes of TNG.

Aside from all of that, in Star Trek lore, it was a highly reliable workhorse of the Federation for a long time. Good luck trying to take it out by ramming it. =)

To be fair I fleet the Fleet Advanced Escorts are a kitbash of two Intrepid model rejects

Quote by kiddkasper

it actually first appeared in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country captained by Captain Sulu (George Takei).

It actually first appeared in Star Trek 3: Search For Spock. The refit design which he may actually be directly referring to was done for the Enterprise B in Generations. I didn't think it looked that bad compared to the original design. Just sort of beefed-up but still a proud and graceful design.

Quote by Jacien

Quote by kiddkasper

it actually first appeared in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country captained by Captain Sulu (George Takei).

It actually first appeared in Star Trek 3: Search For Spock. The refit design which he may actually be directly referring to was done for the Enterprise B in Generations. I didn't think it looked that bad compared to the original design. Just sort of beefed-up but still a proud and graceful design.

Yes, after typing my original post off the top of my head, I remembered that it appeared before ST VI and corrected it.

Dude the Enterprise-B is my favorite "Bucket of Bolts" design.

OMG! I love when Scotty told the Excelsior's computer; "up yer shaft ya bucket'o bolts." :laugh:

Oh Rocket Rocket Rocket.... I dare you to try to ram my ship.

Much love,

Grayson

:whistle:

PVP Me :evil:

It is well ugly! Agree with the op :P Better watch u might get in trouble from members.... the excelsior is some of their babies... shame no one told them their child was ugly :P

Quote by renegadejtx

Oh Rocket Rocket Rocket.... I dare you to try to ram my ship.

:whistle:

Sorry, I'm married. :blush:

Quote by SBOSlayer

It is well ugly! Agree with the op :P Better watch u might get in trouble from members.... the excelsior is some of their babies... shame no one told them their child was ugly :P

Well-meaning friends, wincing inside, have always told them, "Yep! That's a baby!" Unfortunately, what was heard was, "That's a beautiful baby," and the delusion was perpetuated. :ohmy:

Shouldnt we really be talking about the god awful Chimera Heavy Destroyer and not a classy ship the Vista is ugly to looks like a one night stand between a heavy cruiser and a long range science ship.

What in the hell...

Personally I was always fine with the original excelsior design.... I dont see why they needed to change it so much for generations. A little tweeking here and there maybe, but hey whats done is done. It's still one of the classics

Quote by SaintPlazma

Shouldnt we really be talking about the god awful Chimera Heavy Destroyer and not a classy ship the Vista is ugly to looks like a one night stand between a heavy cruiser and a long range science ship.

I Think that was the point

Quote by WhiteOnmyoji

Quote by SaintPlazma

Shouldnt we really be talking about the god awful Chimera Heavy Destroyer and not a classy ship the Vista is ugly to looks like a one night stand between a heavy cruiser and a long range science ship.

I Think that was the point

Negative, the post is about how ugly the Excelsior-class refit may or may not be my point is the Chimera and Vista class is far uglier