My rant on fleet interactions (you've been warned)

I asked last night if someone would be willing to teach me any elite STF, and got a response or as they say in chat "Sassy" response correcting an error in my spelling of "elite" and then making it sound like they are doing me a favor by saying they were about to log off for the night. I just left the fleet chat and tried to teach myself.

I know it was all in good fun, and it may not be what they were trying to convey. But, what was perceived by being "Sassy" to someone you never interacted with before didn't sit well with me. In the tone it was said in this instance, it set a tone of elitism and that they didn't really care. This is NOT the way you try to teach someone who is genuinely asking for help. It will make them less receptive to your advice. Period. I know I was.

That may just this persons personality, and I'm not saying to "Not be yourself" But please keep in mind to be receptive and humble when someone is being genuine or asking for help who is not use to the "Norm" of what the fleet yet. It has the chance to come off wrong and leave a bad impression. Now I'm not saying to "kiss their butt". I'm just saying if it sounds like they are asking or saying something serious/genuine, lend them an ear. Joke and play all you want, but hear them out when needed.

What if English wasn't my first language? What if I'm a new fleet member and this was my very first interaction? What if I was new to the fleet and every time I asked a question, I got ignored as people continued their conversation. (Which has happened and I have seen happen)

I've been in the fleet for a long time (Just returned from a long hiatus) But, I know I would second guess if this was the fleet for me. I would feel alone and separated in a fleet that I though I was a part of, people I thought shared a common ground by being part of the LGBT community. Even saying "I don't know." would be something. At least the question would be acknowledged. We are a fleet, we are a family. There is no "Us and them" within our fleet, just "Us". We want the fleet to grow and get stronger, there is a lot of room in that fleet starbase to fill.

This may seem like a "do nothing" rant, but, I think it is important to keep in mind.
anyways /rant

I am sorry to hear that your asking for help was answered with such disregard. The world is made up of all sorts of people and Stonewall is certainly just as diverse. Your post is a reminder to all fleeties of the importance of using caution with "tone" and "personality" in fleet chat.

There have been a few posts lately with various concerns of things said in fleet chat and to varying degrees. These posts should remind all of us that we are part of a largely diverse and inclusive group and that we all don't have the same sense of humour or understanding of personalities. Often, things said in fleet chat with sarcasm or joking could be misunderstood, especially with unfamiliar fleeties. When in doubt, always mind your manners and be as respectful as possible.

If I suspect that's the case, I simply state it out loud and let them tell me what kind of people they are. It usually plays out like this:


ME: (noob question)
THEM: (unhelpful response that may or may not be snarky)
ME: Apologies, but I am new, so this is a sincere question. Could I trouble you for a straight answer? Cheers.
THEM: (the answer that determines what I think of their character for the rest of time)
ME: Thank you for your time.


It's a simple script and it sorts the regular people from the "MMO leet" pretty quickly.

What's your IGN? I think I might have been a part of the group that "ignored" you. If so, I am terribly sorry. I was probably in the middle of some daily missions or STFs that had my concentration and I wasn't really looking at the chat.

Looking at your @name in your profile, you were not a part of my particular run in. There was no ignoring, it was someone who came off as arrogant, elitist, and sounded like they didn't really care too much to actually help. Again, may not be what they actually intended, but that is what it came off as.

That said, I'm not looking for an apology of any kind. I want the fleet to act like a fleet and work together. This particular issue was going on when I left the game for a bit. When I came back, which has been for about 2 1/2 months now. I've seen it get worse from when I left. I have ex-members on my friends list telling me they left because they felt ignored consistently. People would just continue with their conversation even after asking or talking about it over and over. They all left Stonewall for other fleets. I don't know if anything can be done about it, but I hope so.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience in Fleet Chat, Rai. :(

Like you said, text can be very subjective and the tone that we hear in our head is different than what people can read. I've seen people being ignored in fleet chat, as well. It's a very frustrating, but its not usually because people are simply ignoring the person, but rather they don't know the answer to the question or are busy playing.

Hopefully, all of us working together can improve Fleet Chat. A lot of times, just saying "I don't know" to a member's question is all it takes to make sure they feel involved and not excluded.